Something I Miss — 30 Days Writing Challenge

Life hasn’t been the same since February this year, and the credit goes to the COVID-19 pandemic. I never thought that our normal life was so great and we really took it for granted. Personally, my life changing a lot this year. I didn’t expect everything to be this super dynamic on the year of 2020.

I kinda miss a lot of things. Despite missing the normal life I used to have before COVID-19, I miss being in a real relationship more than anything. I miss being committed to a person, having someone to share a mundane of daily life, and as simple as sharing joy and laughter with that one person.

But let me get things straight, I don’t think that happiness should be based on a relationship status. I agree that happiness should be a state of mind. Some days are tough, others seem unclear, and today may have been awesome; nevertheless life’s going on a cycle, despite I’m single or in a relationship.

However, I’d prefer being in a relationship. It’s not because I can’t be alone or get things done by myself, but I’m a firm believer that some pleasurable and hard things in life would be better if I experienced it with the one person that matters, and I stand by that statement. Furthermore, it’s just really nice to grow old with someone that is in the same chapter or even the same page. The world is scary with its unexpected twists and turns, it would be great to have a company around.

The last time I was in a real relationship is around two years ago. Now at this age, it’s quite hard to start a new one. I learned that people are mostly commitment-phobe and hypocritical with their feelings nowadays. It’s hard to figure if this person really loves me or only my company. But well, I almost always find myself being in a relationship even though mostly not a real one and off-labeled. Although in the end, I have to deal with farewell and I’m the only one who stays thru in every twist & turn life has to offer.

I actually hate the consequences of this kind of relationship; farewell and betrayal. I reach the age when my heart just can’t mend itself easily after I go on separate ways. But at least I learned to let go of things that weren’t meant for me. I learned that only the best stays. I learned that healing, takes time. So, after I did quite a contemplation, I come up with a conclusion;

Probably I miss to being in a real relationship, because being in off labeled one is scary. However, it’s not easy to choose the right person tho. For now, maybe it’s better to be single than being with a wrong person.

The wrong person is temporary, when both realized that you’re just not good for each other, the relationship is over. That being said, it’s better to be single than to plant your feeling in a wrong soul. It’s not easy to walk on your own again. There’s nothing wrong on missing something we used to have, but trying to focus on making the best at a given moment is better. Living life to the fullest, enjoying every second while we have it, isn’t it sounds lovely?

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“How to choose the right person, then?”

Right now, I really have no idea how. Maybe I’ve met one, but it’s not the right time yet. One thing for sure, the right person won’t treat something rare like it is regular. Choose someone that’s extraordinary. Someday, we’ll know.

-d-

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